Raya Funny Tunes 2

this is a follow up on the last post.

i went to the kitchen, to get some grubs and overheard tok wans' conversation with my pharmacist aunt,

tok wan : buat apa hang hantaq anak hang blajaq jd doctor?
aunt : depa nak blajaq lagu tu, nak buat lagu mana..
tok wan : hang tgk mcm ewin (thats my nickname) tu, gheja unemployed, gaji lebih 6 ribu...
aunt : ??? ... pak wan, unemployed tu tade keje..
tok wan : hang jgn nak sekolahkan aku plak. unemployed tu lg tinggi dari manager. nama gheja die tu pon dah mat salleh abes..
aunt nodded, agreeing. she cant say much.

org tue kate, dengar ckp org tue, dorg lg byk makan garam.

its amazing how "keras kepale" our elders can be. perhaps i have set my foot wrongly in the first place. from now on, he'll think 'unemployed' is a post higher than managers.

p/s: next post will be the correction..

Raya Funny Story

There was my tok sedare who came to visit my grandma.

i sat next to my grandma. he asked, "hang ni buat apa la ni? dulu engineer.."

i think itll be hard to explain i build website for living. so i replied "unemployed je".

he said," ohh unemployed. gaji dalam 6 ribu ada?"

i clinched my tummy, tears filled my eyes, i was about to burst in laughter but i remained calm and answered, "ade kot. kadang2 lebih".

org tue2 cakap, kalau tak tahu, tanye. sorry tok wan, youre just too funny.

About a Girl

There's a beautiful girl,
who'd called in the middle of the night asking me to marry her.

There's a classy girl,
who'd call me and bitch about everything, daily.

There's a fan girl,
who'd email/call me asking what's my next project.

There's a liberal girl,
who'd invite me to some drinking party.

There's a government girl,
who'd tell me, i should run a political campaign and promote peace.

There's also an 18 year old designer girl,
who drew me in tux and telling me this is how i should dress up everyday.

The last, sexy chinese girl,
wants to go out on a date.

sorry girls, i just dont have feelings for any of you. im neither gay nor by. im just not in the mood.

The medic girls,
I called them thousands of time, non are interested.. HahHaha

Learning To Drive, Advance..

my big family are grease monkeys. cousins, siblings, unlces, as long as they have balls, they're into cars.

my eldest bro bought a 1989 Saga Knight Auto in 2002, passed to my younger bro and now my dads' pet. the car is probably priced at 5k or less. nonetheless he puts more than 10k modifying that piece of crap. new leather seats, suspension system, engine rebore, overhaul and many more.

i wouldnt say its a comfy ride (it feels like horse riding actually). knocking sound everywhere. but improved driving experience id say. the sound is sweet, klang-klang-klang like american muscle cars.

the Saga isnt for newbies. right foot on accelerator and left on brake, thats how you positioned your feet. when idle, you have to press lightly on the accelerator, so it wont stall. the idle RPM is at 300.

i have driven a testarossa, mid engine evo, rx7s, ford escort 84, R34 skyline and impreza s7, non require me to use both feet to drive, on normal road. which is good, i can finally mimic F1 driver :D

The Most Expensive Taxi Ride

98 Million was the exact figure to send our 'astronaut' outer space. what is it for?

10-15 years ago, we said mahathir was crazy for his idea on the tallest building, f1 and putrajaya. now, its a landmark. in those days, i was in my own world. i do not know how to think.

but 98million?? for what? benchmarking names? commercially, what will we achieve? globally, everyone knows malaysia. so what did we expect.

i guess pak lah forgot, "membazir itu amalan syaitan". we could use that money to develop rural areas. im sadden by the fact that i am a msian, whats worst.. a malay. even worst, my leaders are idiots.

malaysia boleh... BLAH!

do not let politicians blind you. fucking morons!

some interesting blog..

Saman Polis

mom, they're restless thinking that their son will be put to jail if he fails to pay all the compound issued. thats my mom..

i have 12 traffic compounds. lets do some math. minimum is RM150, max is RM300.
4 x RM 300 = RM1,200
8 x RM 150 = RM1,200
thats RM2,400 in total!

these offenses include maniac driving, speeding, parking fines, faulty 3rd light and my personal favorite, driving without license. btw, i was never caught doing 180kmh. funny.. only silly ones i couldn't escape.

i paid my visit to Balai Polis Traffic Ampang. the officers were really nice! that was the biggest surprise. he asked,"are you sure you want to pay all this?". "of course!", i replied, can i even argue? i brought cash (mom funded 1k). RM 1120 please, he asked. what?? i got an instant discount? i happily paid for my silly mistakes ;)

thank you officer hamdan. next time, i treat you karaoke (with or without chicken)! hahaha

www.Kahwin2u.net - Goes Web2.0

Part of my undying passion for web is Web2.0. What's cool about it, is that webmaster do less work, users work more. in the old days, it's the other way around. (programmers work more!)

anyway, somewhere mid of ramadhan, kahwin2u was hacked. i couldn't trace who did this, but i'm pretty sure it affected the whole server. i couldn't recover anything. it looked like scramble eggs thrown to the wall. *splat*

nothing really motivates me more than making a come back. so for the last 2-3 weeks or so (during raya), i started coding. i wanted it to be user oriented. the best way was to copy digg.com and stumbleupon.com. the coding alone took roughly 17 days and the design under 1 day. packed with AJAX and PHP, i think i can proudly say that this is my best work so far (in terms of coding).

so interesting comment:

1. the website dont look like a wedding site - agree. i have balls. i do not have feminine taste.
   
2. can i pay to be in your directory? - err.. im already giving you for free, just link you articles in the website. you still want to pay?
   
3. i wish to advertise, so how? - it was released less than a day. no proven result that it'll be successful. later2 i'll call back.
4. copy cat! - ok. so if someone has a blogspot, then a friend followed his footpath, is that copy cat too?
5. can you sell me the whole idea including domain and intellectual property? - errr... i did not documented anything. everything is in my head. maybe in a year or two, ill sell.
6. how come aaa i have to register? - because i dont want spammers on my site la dumb ass.
7. got inbox, can link to gmail or yahoomail? - NO. thats your Private Message box.
8. what is digg, del.icio.us and stumbleupon? - press CTRL+L, type google.com!

p/s: i am a year behind the world wide web. as for general malaysians, id say about 3 to 7 years. yikes!

the Melancholy of Life

I had a drink with mache and riq, stumbled bagak and jea. chill night out.

i came back to search for my degree cert and i came across this book i wrote called, "the unspoken words". its basically a log book of 'sarr and me' s' problematic relationship. i logged every single time we fought.

3 years since i last wrote. she was right. we were never meant to be or rather i wasnt mature enough at time of our relationship. it saddens me how could i ever do the things i did to her. i was cruel, it was unbearable, it wasn't something to read as a bedtime story. i hurt her real bad.

so [ask me who is this], if you ever read this, im really sorry for what ever i did. i wish i can repay you in every sense. and i hope by keeping my distance between you and me would serve as my punishment.

when i look back, was it just an obsession or true love? i think its the latter. being so fuckingly hurt for the past few years, i yearn to believe, this is what they call karma. [ask me who is this], thanks for everything. enjoy your life. amin.

ps: i can write longer, but i think i have enough of back thread. its time to thrust my life forward. go eddie go.

i hate making forms!!!

babi biawak anjing singe laut kapal api!*&^%$#@ oh deym..

damn i hate making CSS form. i spent close to 7 hours and all i can come up with is this. am i not talented or this thing is friggin hard! cheap ass betul. emo plak.

if you google "korek hidung", tazqirah.com is no1. yes..(no?) . finally ade gak mende nak cheer aku.

Getting Ideas

How do you get ideas?

• scratch your head
• bite the end of your pen or pencil
• spin pencil or pen
• get high on cigarettes or drugs
• nicotine from coffee
• hot drinks to warm up?
• run or jog
• pray

for me, nose picking works. of course with tissues, so i dont mess my keyboard (does not affect mouse, i only use my left hand). thats why i was so determined to prove that nose-picking does not void fasting.