Eddie for PM?

some mails are just fun to read. this one is no different. so im posting it here, well, part of it.

"I like your view on the current government issues and how you'd tackle the problem. I think if you venture into politics you'd be great. Its NOT A SURPRISE if you have the PM's chair one day."

-i'd take that as an insult.

there's a lot of talented people out there but im not shy to admit that i am one of them (haha). there's obviously someone better. i know my koleq friends wouldnt trust me. that alone is enough to convinced im not suited for the role.

im open, liberal and direct. i dont want to be the next mustapha kamal attarturk

Cyber Monday Blues

i havent gotten a good rest since Saturday to Monday. Im just being me, a cyber vampire.

how do you like waking up to monday?
how do you like facing unread emails that came over the weekend?
how do you like to beat the traffic?

today, life is easy. no traffic. no hassle. no new email. then i realized its school holiday! no wonder kids are everywhere. my younger brother woke up and challenged me to a winning-eleven match. seconds later, i found my PS2 toggle stick broken. kids these days dont really appreciate the luxury they had.

what am i mumbling about? its a cyber monday. commute time baby. oh yeah, this is test post.

thanks ;)

The Customary

every year, on my birthday, i will look back and muhasabah, what have i achieved? what do i have?

nothing.
nothing significant.
nothing to prove my worthiness.

somehow, i dont give a damn!

• i have great friends to feed my ego
• my family is supporting what im doing (indirectly)
  
• glad, God granted my "time-out" session
• grateful, that im still breathing and thinking.

to everyone who wished me, may God bless you with a worry-free life. amin.

to that special someone, thanks for giving me a live bullet for my birthday. i just wish i had a gun to shoot you. haha. the present is awesomely emo.

"Inna ma'al-'usri yusra." - inshira 5

Modesty is the Best Policy

it was my birthday celebration yesterday night. my family left me for a jakarta holiday. so im all alone. i wanted to celebrate with my close friends, but then again, they have daily jobs to keep (ohh..how thoughtful). so i went out with my best bud to bangsar.

initially i wanted to dance until my leg give up, sadly we're too exhausted. so we decided to drive around the town. with the bimmer, i PIMPed the road. girls in jazz, gen2, wira, kancil etc.. looked as if saying, "oh.. i want to be in that car!"

conclusion
with a hole in a pocket, you can get "KFC chicken wings" by saying hi, as long as you drive a BMW 7 series. what a shallow world.

*KFC chicken wings = chicks = hot/slutty/sexy/ girls

ps: happy bday to me, happy bday to me, happy bday to hazlan, happy bday to me.
pss: 24, what have i achieved? nothing significant.
psss: we met kristen dunst at suzy corner. for you my dear, i will become a spiderman anyday (crawling around your body, hahaha)

Controversial Email?

Dear Edwin,

Kindly remove the recent post on your blog. You are not eligible to argue about overseas student like us. You dont know the distances/sacrifices we have gone through. Are you a local student?

Just because youre from MCKK, doesnt mean you can judge us based on observations.

Regards,
xXxXx
--------------------------------------------------------------------
oh boy. like i said in my reply, i will do the follow up here. its open ;)

yeah, a guy emailed me. too good to be true? i thought so too.

firstly, im not kind so i will NOT remove nor retract what i have said. we're democrats, freedom of speech is important.

tak eligible? you kidding me? like other normal malays, english is my second language. when i was in standard 2, my family migrated to US for 2 years. how does a non english speaker adapt to such enviroment, when the only words that can come out from my mouth was "teacher, can i go to the toilet?" (later corrected by the teacher, its, MAY i go to the BATHROOM). americans, they have their way. and yeah, i was both, local and overseas student. i hate it there, so i came back.

sacrifice? like how? cooking is hard? the wind is too cold for a kampung boy like you? they give out condom when you jump off the bus? page3 girl? drunk housemate? nude beach in barcelona? learning in English? oh dude.. so lame.

MCKK? how does everyone parading MC-Gay-Gay sound? a reality pinch? besides why do you have to bring up my school, are you inferior by any chance? are we an eye sore or did we sidelined you? MCKK was hell, you know nuts, so dont unzip your pants and put your cock on the table. i will not stroke it for you (nor any guys out there).

please prove me wrong (intelligent remarks je ok) if you can. pedas? yeah, thats how i like my sambal belacan to be.

Happy Halloween Ben

Not exactly halloween, late by a night.

i had a friend named benjamin. i couldnt speak english very well, he was my tour guide, my best-est friend. we'd share lunch packs (i ate his sandwiches, which i didnt know it was actually ham), had playground fights, play some scrabbles and his dog, annie.

life was easy those days.

i think of ben every halloween (seriously im not gay). we were lazy to knock on neighbors' door for candies, so we robbed kids off the streets. literally robbed. we hid behind a large gloomy oak/pine tree and whenever a group of kids passed by, we came out running and screaming,"run! that tree eat kids!!".

the kids ran, crying for their mommy. as for ben and me, we got tonnes of candies, left behind by the poor kids. ben likes licorice, i like herseys' kisses and m&ms. so the trade was simple. we kept what we liked, the rest, we left it on the streets for stray dog or who ever.

ben, here's a toast for you! happy halloween you jackass.

Raye Part 3

continual of the previous post,

i came back to the living room with a handful of bahulus. while gobbling and stuffing everything in my mouth, tok wan stood up and repositioned himself next to me. whispering tone, he asked,

tokwan : hang makan sume ni, tak takut gemok ka?
me : tak. bulan pose dh ilang dekat 6kg. raye 1 + 2 dah naik balik 4 kg.
tokwan : tu dia.. ni tanya kat hang. unemployed tu gheja lagu mana?
me : unemployed tu keje duduk rumah, bukak computer pastu masuk internet. kalau2 bosan tu, tolong mak lipat baju la.
tokwan : punya la sempoi hang gheja. boss hang tak marah?
me : mana ade boss. kami la boss. (kami is referred as 'i' up north)
tokwan : tak sangka ada gak cucu tokwan yg berjaya no. tokwan bangga abeslah kt hang.

tokwan is now convinced that "unemployed" is a king like position in a company. i left the room. a few minutes later, i heard..

"celaka hang ewin! kalau la lutut aku tak ketaq, dah lama aku takik hang dgn mertun!!!" (takik = knock, mertun = hammer)

i guess my parents explained to him what "unemployed" is.

thats to payback for forcing me to drink 'kopi' when i was 5. selamat hari raya tokwan ;)

p/s: tokwan used to force me many things when i was a kid, like, paint his house, build reban ayam, chase his chickens, eat cows' testicle, climb rambutan tree etc. is the score even? i dont think so..

Raya Funny Story

There was my tok sedare who came to visit my grandma.

i sat next to my grandma. he asked, "hang ni buat apa la ni? dulu engineer.."

i think itll be hard to explain i build website for living. so i replied "unemployed je".

he said," ohh unemployed. gaji dalam 6 ribu ada?"

i clinched my tummy, tears filled my eyes, i was about to burst in laughter but i remained calm and answered, "ade kot. kadang2 lebih".

org tue2 cakap, kalau tak tahu, tanye. sorry tok wan, youre just too funny.

About a Girl

There's a beautiful girl,
who'd called in the middle of the night asking me to marry her.

There's a classy girl,
who'd call me and bitch about everything, daily.

There's a fan girl,
who'd email/call me asking what's my next project.

There's a liberal girl,
who'd invite me to some drinking party.

There's a government girl,
who'd tell me, i should run a political campaign and promote peace.

There's also an 18 year old designer girl,
who drew me in tux and telling me this is how i should dress up everyday.

The last, sexy chinese girl,
wants to go out on a date.

sorry girls, i just dont have feelings for any of you. im neither gay nor by. im just not in the mood.

The medic girls,
I called them thousands of time, non are interested.. HahHaha

Saman Polis

mom, they're restless thinking that their son will be put to jail if he fails to pay all the compound issued. thats my mom..

i have 12 traffic compounds. lets do some math. minimum is RM150, max is RM300.
4 x RM 300 = RM1,200
8 x RM 150 = RM1,200
thats RM2,400 in total!

these offenses include maniac driving, speeding, parking fines, faulty 3rd light and my personal favorite, driving without license. btw, i was never caught doing 180kmh. funny.. only silly ones i couldn't escape.

i paid my visit to Balai Polis Traffic Ampang. the officers were really nice! that was the biggest surprise. he asked,"are you sure you want to pay all this?". "of course!", i replied, can i even argue? i brought cash (mom funded 1k). RM 1120 please, he asked. what?? i got an instant discount? i happily paid for my silly mistakes ;)

thank you officer hamdan. next time, i treat you karaoke (with or without chicken)! hahaha

i hate making forms!!!

babi biawak anjing singe laut kapal api!*&^%$#@ oh deym..

damn i hate making CSS form. i spent close to 7 hours and all i can come up with is this. am i not talented or this thing is friggin hard! cheap ass betul. emo plak.

if you google "korek hidung", tazqirah.com is no1. yes..(no?) . finally ade gak mende nak cheer aku.

Getting Ideas

How do you get ideas?

• scratch your head
• bite the end of your pen or pencil
• spin pencil or pen
• get high on cigarettes or drugs
• nicotine from coffee
• hot drinks to warm up?
• run or jog
• pray

for me, nose picking works. of course with tissues, so i dont mess my keyboard (does not affect mouse, i only use my left hand). thats why i was so determined to prove that nose-picking does not void fasting.

Whats the Fuzz About Gua.com.my?

"gua caya sama lu!" thats the tag line. corny but i like it. this is a flame post. go away if you think im being silly.

i heard gua.com.my over the radio, so i told myself, "hey, why not i give it a lookie". the first thing i did when i got to my lappie, i keyed in "gua.com.my"...

wah la~ and error POOPed out. oh ok, maybe they are still fixing it. i corrected my url and hit enter. the correct url is http://www.gua.com.my

Hey Marion ~(would you like to travel to panama with me?) as much as they would like to target teens (or teen-like-adults), this is simply too much. look at it! its hideous, preposterous! have they ever thought that its sooo late 90's design? this is just like the layout korn had in 99. babe, move to web2.0 ala facebook style please. again i give an ample space to improve..

so i clicked over to AMBER CHIA. yummy~ (no way a 24 year old male can resist her). while waiting for page to load i grabbed cookies and milk, it was super slow! upon my return, i faced this error. goodness, i am a web developer, im updated with all these latest tools and gadgets but THIS? ohoo.. maybe i just dont have a flash player (!), i might as well get a dvd player while im at it.

and the final part, a bit technical though, but this is definitely not the way to code. its neither SEO nor SEF, search engine cannot find you. it's open for threat, hacking is so much easier if everything is displayed. it should be like this (below), looking like a dumb .html, but actually .php extension. to any developer, this is the first thing to look into before anything else.

nontheless, you have my utmost respect for being able to air and market on the media network, as expected of media primas' sub. also respect for the up coming shamefulness you will receive.

why am i pissed?well, maybe because i DIDNT get the job! anyway, its a good exercise before i start my webhate.com project (showcasing all the mistakes and bad designs of malaysian web!) ouch, thats gotta hurt.

My Boring Time

My Top 10 boring to do list. Not in order though.

1 - nose-picking, hygienic reasons ok.
2 - kick my fat cat. (his name is comel) yes, very cute and adorable but also very lazy.
3 - start an LED + circuit project and decided to ditch after figuring out 'its too easy la bro'.
4 - wash my hands every 5 mins (i always think i have my nose crap on my fingers)
5 - crack a software. this may sound.. WOW, a cracker! but i only do basic algorithm. im not a guy from Die Hard 4.0 or sword fish
6 - nulled a script. most scripts you purchase online has this feature of anti hack or so. it takes hours but once you know to get around, you'd go 'man, this should only take 3 mins!'
7 - chase the cat next door. since my cat is cute and lazy, i chase other cats. theyre not good looking but very enthusiastic.
8 - iron my work shirt even though my official office attire is a singlet and shorts
9 - lay and roll allover the bed and screaming as if im being sodomized.
10 - wrestle my younger bro until he cries or says ,'yes, you are my master.'

Laughter The Best Medicine

Akmal forwarded this to me. Have fun..

(1) DON'T LOOK AT A NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into
stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... Baby doll
3rd wife..... China doll
2nd wife.... Barbie doll
1st wife..... Panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him "Is it in dear?"

(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every night men get fresh
milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon
of starch!

(5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
"Your name please?"
"Abdul Aziz"
"Sex?"
"Six times a week!!"
"No, no, I mean male or female!"
"Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel!"

(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service and sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service

(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of Playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "Missing Persons"

(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Because its the only profession where u can tell a woman to
take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than
have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl.
On their first night both were crying..........Why???
Because she didn't know anything and
he had forgotten everything.

50 Years of Merdeka and We Only Care about the FOOD

have you been listening to the radio lately? played over and over again, the true spirit of merdeka lies in our food. it saddens me, but its true. i myself planned to move to the uk, unfortunately its the food i cannot resist. for everything else, you have a mastercard. LOL.

is Malaysia really 'merdeka'?

my rants the current malaysia..

• bad automotive industry, not just talking about proton here. include all car makers assembled in malaysia. if we have no tax on car import, these car makers would be dead by now. how much will you put a price on proton gen2? for me, 35k (but hey i bought one at 58k). buy malaysian, be patriotic! hmm.. your turn..
  
• football. oh so sad. im not blaming on players nor the management, id put everything on the media. whats the fuss about EPL? according to alexa, malaysian is the 2nd highest visitor at premierleague.com. oh and please mr media, football is not malaysia's no 1 sport. EPL is.
  
• politics. noted, malaysian higher powers are bringing in investors from all over the globe. its a good thing. everybody loves money but it doesnt equate to happiness and comfort. why? we are treated as second rate people!
  
• the citizen. i love malaysian, so loving and caring.. yeah right! have you ever been to hartamas? people stare/glare as if you not wearing anything. how about accidents on the road? people slowdown to see whats happening but not to help. please la people, if you want to see something disgusting, google-lah. accidents are not freakshows. our mindset is wrong.. its just soo wrong. im not civilized myself, im wrong too.
• petroleum country. but how come you keep increasing? arent we supposed to be subsidized like heaven? so these profit where does it go to? someone like us (professionals) may not be affected greatly. think about the outskirts or hulu2 people, do you think they can afford fuel like we do? sad..
• traffic. kl traffic is bad. i dont drive anymore with 3 reasons on hand, petrol, parking and girls. its about RM5 from keramat to klcc and you actually have to beat an old lady with a stick to get a parking space, which cost RM7 for the day. i take LRT. i have to literally shove myself into the train in the morning. why cant you add more trains? too costly is it? have you thought about global warming? so which would you chose, money or malaysia? you dont need to answer that, its already written all over your face.
• pollution. according to times, we can help to reduce global warming by planting more trees on the equator. but i see day after day pembalakan haram on the news. someone's pocket is definitely full. think about berkat..
• malaysia with islamic rules. why does it seems like everyone is against it? here's why.. islam mengharamkan RIBA. you can fill in the details.

How we can improve Malaysia?

• its not about the cover, its the content. we as the citizen must think like we're equals. be it indian chinese or malay. maybe its too much to ask, but if we could start to instill this ideal into our kids, Malaysia would be a better place
• abolish sek jenis kebangsaan india/chinese. a very hard case, seems very unlikely because it has to do with HERITAGE. well yeah.. but have it taught in every school. dont you think its wonderful to see everyone speaks and reads all these 3 languages?
• forget about english. speak malay. take for example germans, french and japanese. they are advance in their technology because the skipped the part where they had to translate. so you skipped the 'buffer' zone. was it a bad idea to teach kids math and science in english? i dont know, maybe a teacher can explain that. personally, it only confuses kids.
• abolish tolls in outskirt areas. introduce tolls in big cities. increase road tax. intensify our transporting system. sounds stupid, but its actually good. my point, save mother nature! save malaysia for kids. only the rich gets to drive. or drive whenever necessary. more people will move outskirt. reduces traffic. byk lagi laa.. you think plak.
• go back into agriculture, make it as no1 export industry. its green. save nature. food is more demanding than other industries. we need to eat more than we need a gadget.

i guess what im asking is a little too much. its just my bottled up thoughts. you can arrest under ISA, i dont care. but be sure to publish my face on the frontpage. God is fair. you can do anything to me, i will only pray that God will have mercy on your soul. ;)

Why 3G is Not Important, But Also Important

we've been stressed out by our local telco. cheap lah this plan. ours only 15 cent. this telco cheat people. i mean wtf? marketing is not about brushing people off your shoulder. heck i know, i can sell RM1 per minute and still get subscribers. why? thats for business students to answer, im just making that one up ;)

anyway, there's this thing called 3G, is it good? how so? well.. let me just.. on the fly.

Important

• for org pekak/bisu to communicate via video call
  
• for business or anyone to stay connected (internet)
• for freakshow - so that we could position ourselves on the globe (tell me about it..)
  
• tu je kot?

Not Important

• introduces cost to telcos, which in return we pay for the service and hardware by slow falling of telco services rates.
  
• introduces cost to MCMC, we paid tax right.. so thats where our money went.
• we have EDGE. people say edge its slower, wrong! although EDGE has lower bandwidth compared to 3G, its still outperforms 3G anyday.
• yehaa we have 3G too. crap.. fix the goddamn tmnet first!
• Go WiMax. often foreigners come to malaysia with lappies, and not 3G phones. they need connectivity for WiMax not 3G, dumbass. germans only use nokia3310! they only need to call and sms, for other things, they use a laptop!

Fact

• klang valley has 3G, my house has too, but my room, NO.
• penang has 3G, but the line connects and disconnects so often that i gave up using 3G
• digi will not be approved to use 3G, thats why they are bombarding the nation with their cheaper plans. (correct me if im wrong)
• 3G contributes to global warming. heat from 3G servers. video calls = shorter battery life = frequent charging = electricity = more charcoal burning. LOL
  
• 3G contributes immoral acts. horny people phone-sex using 3G other than webcams.
• 3G infrastructure is very slloooooooooooooooow. how long did it take to penetrate kelantan? 2 years? although known to be packed mase raye, still sluggish?
• RM10million is needed per 3G tower (more or less). who gets the profit? spread out evenly? the company even declared loss at the end of the year.. gile ke ape?

ok la. mase utk bace samurai X ;)

Asshole Wins

something i came across. enjoy! ;)

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain > I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood > I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach > I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs > I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes > I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole > I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.

*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.*