People Under the Sun

Im so sorry that I will no longer be blogging. This is due to work stress that I have to put up every sleepless nights. As a token of appreciation, I have compiled and rekindled the idea of noktahhitam. You can check out, www.noktahhitam.com

Do you understand the joke? No? Are you running pentium II MMX 256MHz?

Notice : I have moved to www.noktahhitam.com! I will be kicking ass(es) every possible way.

PS : The site is not ready yet, so please dont bother.

EEEPC, PC Fair is Coming

 yeah, it'll be held at KLCC starting 7th. i want this SHIT! its called, eee pc.

i hate crowded places, pasar malam and cinemas are no exception. but this time, im really looking forward get the retarded eeepc. i guess you'll see me beating an old lady to get one of this.

price? its RM1,300. it has USB, wifi, webcam, speaker, full keyboard, 7" screen and 0.92kg. its a no brainer deal. its a VERY basic computer.

im now weighing my options, mobile or eeepc. get both? i can almost imagine, pulling out this thing for a slide presentation, blogging while tailgating an evo7 or lie to tokwan, that this is actually an alarm clock.

Eddie for PM?

some mails are just fun to read. this one is no different. so im posting it here, well, part of it.

"I like your view on the current government issues and how you'd tackle the problem. I think if you venture into politics you'd be great. Its NOT A SURPRISE if you have the PM's chair one day."

-i'd take that as an insult.

there's a lot of talented people out there but im not shy to admit that i am one of them (haha). there's obviously someone better. i know my koleq friends wouldnt trust me. that alone is enough to convinced im not suited for the role.

im open, liberal and direct. i dont want to be the next mustapha kamal attarturk

Ali Setan~

"aku masuk uni sebab ali setan"

a friend of mine quoted this. anyway, its quite a surprise to find the full Ali Setan movie on youtube. enjoy-lah dikala sepi di malam hari.

Cyber Monday Blues

i havent gotten a good rest since Saturday to Monday. Im just being me, a cyber vampire.

how do you like waking up to monday?
how do you like facing unread emails that came over the weekend?
how do you like to beat the traffic?

today, life is easy. no traffic. no hassle. no new email. then i realized its school holiday! no wonder kids are everywhere. my younger brother woke up and challenged me to a winning-eleven match. seconds later, i found my PS2 toggle stick broken. kids these days dont really appreciate the luxury they had.

what am i mumbling about? its a cyber monday. commute time baby. oh yeah, this is test post.

thanks ;)

Why Did You Quit Your Daily Job?

i went back kampung to attend a family wedding. it was tok su's daugther getting married. at the peek of the wedding, i found myself sitting in the corner with Tok Wan.

TokWan : awat hang berhenti gheja?
eddie : sy nak pikir tentang mase depan saya.
TokWan : hang nak pikir apa? pak hang suruh hang jd engineer, hang jadi je la. kalau petani sekali pon, jadi lah jugak.
eddie : mcm mane kalau saye tanak jd engineer?
TokWan : yg hang bodo pi belajaq sampai kt 'london' tu buat apa? hang ni, nak kata bodo, pandai la jugak.
eddie : sebab pandaila kite pikir.
TokWan : hang patut jadi petani.
eddie : awat?
TokWan : supaya hang tak pandai jawab.

TokWan, you are one funny guy.

Sting Like a Bee

its been ages since i played mindful games, nevertheless, in my leisure time i find myself doing add maths. WTF? so i decided to test myself. as seen above, was my result. me a GENIUS?

if you don't know where you stand, i suggest you go and check out mensa site.

your silly mind is telling you that i cheated. i don't think so.

Rihanna - I hate That I Love You

how come im turned on listening to this song?

ugh.. so pathetic.

Mari Gelapkan Duit Kerajaan

On recent note, i have found myself wandering around Govs site. the design was ugh-so-stooopid. every page i went, i had to download pdf or doc file.

back to the story, i was looking for grants. my partner in crime was comel, yeah my cat. i looked for approved grant and found out most of them are not profitable or simply stupid. some even scrapped the idea. (to the successful ones, congrats). so what happened to money invested to the unsuccessful project? buat beli merc ke bang? is this considered part of the national economic circle? well, let me apply for one, see what i can do with the money.

perhaps, i shouldn't. what do you think comel? *miau2*

/me tendang kucing jatuh katil

kucing gemok, makan je ko tau.

PayPerPost?.. anyone?

did you noticed how 'boom' blog is in Malaysia? my reasons are

• we have no idea how to express our rights as Malaysian Citizen
• we fear of ISA
• get paid for blogging
• or, he/she's just an ass.

you know people like mohdsuhaimy, x5mom, mohdismail etc, these people really do earn a lot from blogging. So I studied their mechanism of money making. (actually this was done years ago, just thought you might want to know)

Advertisement

• Google Adsense – it’s a no brainer. Anyone can copy and paste the script.
• TextAdslinks – similar to Google Adsense, but worthless! The requirement is very high e.g. your Google PR must be 5 and above.
• Nuffnang – young at heart (and age) these guys try to serve ads for local flavors. Aint that easy you know.
• Advertlets – Malaysia’s first ads serving for blog. But still, I don’t see anything good for bloggers. Also Nuffnang’s biggest barrier.

Sponsored Post

• PayPerPost – while making myself feel stupid, I get paid! LoL. I registered for an account because I wanted to test the system and “feel” the workflow. Also, like a cat, curious ;)

Sadly, blogosphere is frustrating by the day. new users sign up, writing about crap (just like me) and some for profiteering. The ones I follow are politics, gadgets and web technology.

Why You Should Register and Vote

Politicians = Monkeys?

The election is coming. I deeply believe that BN will win again. No doubt. Why? We are giving them a second chance to redeem their worthiness. Should we? Everybody deserves a second chance.

Nazri remarks are stupid as ever. he does not portray a leader at all. who are you to be calling others "Bodoh"? Did you benchmarked yourself to signify who is Bodoh and who is not?

KJ aka Khairy Jamaluddin is a samurai waving his katana everywhere. a great samurai anticipates the opponents next move and will only withdraw his katana when necessary. also, who are you to be calling others "Beruk". It seems you have condemned Gods creation. Mengucaplah sebelum terlambat.

Anwar, peeling governments dirty little secrets layer by layer. please cut diagonally, so we can see the core.

Pak Lah, orang kampung ku. Mengapakah encik ini takda depth?

Eddie, mengapakah kau suka kutuk org? Tak sedar diri unemployed. mungkinkah di masa lapang anda mencari salah dan silap semua org.. dan juga diri sendiri? mungkin juga.

Anyway, the points

• you are a malaysian citizen
• your rights as a citizen
• you care about your future
• you care about your paid tax
• you worry about your country
• 1 vote can be a tie breaker (unlikely)
• better vote than sorry.

Lets not forget about the last Ijok Story, a 9 year old boy is eligible to vote. (no way i made this up)

BMW or Mercedes?

its been a while, since someone asked me this question.

adibah : which would you prefer? BMW or Mercedes?
eddie : AUDI
adibah : eh.. tak aci la you ni. sekali lagi i bg you jawab
eddie : AUDI
adibah : you paham ke tak paham?
eddie : oh ni soalan objective ek? ok la kalau mcm tu, i pilih AUDI.
adibah : ugh...x nak lah kawan.
eddie : sejak bile kite kawan pon?

and the conversation goes on. Engineer buys Audi, businessman buys Merc, apek sayur buys BMW. get the joke? no? neither do i.

The Customary

every year, on my birthday, i will look back and muhasabah, what have i achieved? what do i have?

nothing.
nothing significant.
nothing to prove my worthiness.

somehow, i dont give a damn!

• i have great friends to feed my ego
• my family is supporting what im doing (indirectly)
  
• glad, God granted my "time-out" session
• grateful, that im still breathing and thinking.

to everyone who wished me, may God bless you with a worry-free life. amin.

to that special someone, thanks for giving me a live bullet for my birthday. i just wish i had a gun to shoot you. haha. the present is awesomely emo.

"Inna ma'al-'usri yusra." - inshira 5

Modesty is the Best Policy

it was my birthday celebration yesterday night. my family left me for a jakarta holiday. so im all alone. i wanted to celebrate with my close friends, but then again, they have daily jobs to keep (ohh..how thoughtful). so i went out with my best bud to bangsar.

initially i wanted to dance until my leg give up, sadly we're too exhausted. so we decided to drive around the town. with the bimmer, i PIMPed the road. girls in jazz, gen2, wira, kancil etc.. looked as if saying, "oh.. i want to be in that car!"

conclusion
with a hole in a pocket, you can get "KFC chicken wings" by saying hi, as long as you drive a BMW 7 series. what a shallow world.

*KFC chicken wings = chicks = hot/slutty/sexy/ girls

ps: happy bday to me, happy bday to me, happy bday to hazlan, happy bday to me.
pss: 24, what have i achieved? nothing significant.
psss: we met kristen dunst at suzy corner. for you my dear, i will become a spiderman anyday (crawling around your body, hahaha)

Facebook Make Web Developers Look Cheap

i dont really like to talk about the 'ever great' facebook. but people everywhere is screaming for them. why?

• utilization of AJAX - dude, its 2002 technology. prada site is better.
• social networking - great application, but failed to attract my attention. put it this way, would you rather share your interest over the net or a mamak stall?
• for the 'geeks' - let me ask you, can you get laid over the net? hardly!

the thing about the title, Mshit sponsored $400mil for application development, 2% of facebook total value. so how much is facebook? $20BILLION!! why? remember you keyed in your birthday, location, occupation, school, interest etc, so THEY CAN TARGET BUYERS with specific information. that being said, anything is possible.

not only they make me look cheap, but your salary (RM 1.8k to 6k) look like free chili sauce/kethup at McD (maybe salt).

cool fact? nah, just another infestation.

Halal Pork

yeay, my dream came true... hahaha

and so Skali.net Lagi

It will train you and give you a job in the Managed Portal Services (MPS) project, which involves the maintainance and upgrading of the 102 state government and 471 federal government websites.

Skali announced that it was awarded the six-year project, which is worth RM258mil, on Wednesday and has openings for 4,000 graduates in its training programme.

well, i was bummed to see Skali.net get the whole government sector. so lets do some math!

Per month Per department maintenance = 258mil /(102 + 471)(6*12) = RM 6253!

lets see what i can do with a RM6253,

• buy new IBM laptop or Apple Tablet
• umrah trip
• fly to london and bring 2 of my 'ehem2' friends
• pay 3 staffs salary
  
• hire hannah tan or stephanie chia for 2 hours
  
• register 100 enterprises at SSM
• 10 x Gen2 Monthly installment
  
• buy 62,530 bottles of asam taik hidung, war stock.
  

Graduates per site = 4,000/(102+471) = 6.9 person. being the 0.9, kesian, kene cincang.
Hence, RM6253/6.9=RM 906 = graduates salary.

Questions:

1. is 4,000 graduates too much? how bout their workstations?
2. RM906 for salary is enough? then forget about astro, car etc.. naik honda cup je.
   
3. RM 6253 per month is a lot. I only charge 10k at most, that being one time, training and support for a year.
4. will the government site still be hackable? or you still have to download PDF and Docs to browse their page?
5. dont you think this is stupid?

i thought so too. spread the disease...

Controversial Email?

Dear Edwin,

Kindly remove the recent post on your blog. You are not eligible to argue about overseas student like us. You dont know the distances/sacrifices we have gone through. Are you a local student?

Just because youre from MCKK, doesnt mean you can judge us based on observations.

Regards,
xXxXx
--------------------------------------------------------------------
oh boy. like i said in my reply, i will do the follow up here. its open ;)

yeah, a guy emailed me. too good to be true? i thought so too.

firstly, im not kind so i will NOT remove nor retract what i have said. we're democrats, freedom of speech is important.

tak eligible? you kidding me? like other normal malays, english is my second language. when i was in standard 2, my family migrated to US for 2 years. how does a non english speaker adapt to such enviroment, when the only words that can come out from my mouth was "teacher, can i go to the toilet?" (later corrected by the teacher, its, MAY i go to the BATHROOM). americans, they have their way. and yeah, i was both, local and overseas student. i hate it there, so i came back.

sacrifice? like how? cooking is hard? the wind is too cold for a kampung boy like you? they give out condom when you jump off the bus? page3 girl? drunk housemate? nude beach in barcelona? learning in English? oh dude.. so lame.

MCKK? how does everyone parading MC-Gay-Gay sound? a reality pinch? besides why do you have to bring up my school, are you inferior by any chance? are we an eye sore or did we sidelined you? MCKK was hell, you know nuts, so dont unzip your pants and put your cock on the table. i will not stroke it for you (nor any guys out there).

please prove me wrong (intelligent remarks je ok) if you can. pedas? yeah, thats how i like my sambal belacan to be.

The 'Thing' About Overseas Students

Im writing NOT to accuse or offend any overseas student. If you happen to be one, you may not like it. disclaimer: may not apply to everyone. general observation. discussed and agreed among friends.

I was blog-hopping the other day, came across this site, overseas Malay on one of the Adsense banner. So I went there, had a peak, a question struck, "why do you study abroad if you miss your own race?"

Actually not just a question, but many. Also presumptions, judgment, comments etc.

why study abroad if you..

1 - want to find your own race ?
is it a universal law? sent to a foreign place, does it echo "that youre still a kampung boy and miss speaking malay?" Oh come on. make friends, participate in GLOBALISATION and learn about other races and people. your connection with them might come in handy someday. if you really need to be with your race, forget about studying abroad. be the kampung boy you always were.

2 - dont want to miss hari raya?
classic. im sure you can find tonnes of student out there, missing the ketupat, lemang, family, friends, foes, cat, dog, kurap, belacan or whatever. but the fact that you are "seeking" for sympathy is pathetic. dont want to miss it? just fly back for a week. dont give stupid excuse like no money.

i went to school in full malay on hari raya. everyone looked at me. i have people asking me, what am i wearing? and most importantly, i seek forgiveness from my classmates. they were stunned, and asked WTF am i doing? i explained everything to each and everyone. most find it fascinating and certainly would like to witness the culture first hand. in other words, it can contribute to tourism industry.

3 - come back and complain about your small pay slip?
tied to the contract, you again seek sympathy for your "cleverness". whats the ratio? 1 year study : 3 years service? its a business. they invested in you, of course they want something in return and thats your BRAIN. if you want a big fat check, drop out from school, be the next Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, facebook developer, youtube founder, write stupid ebooks or find a sugar-mommy/daddy.

4 - dont bother learning their accent (and culture)?
i asked some grads, did you pick up the british accent? they replied, why would i? duh! because its COOL. it shows you were EDUCATING yourself out there and not just being educated. your next excuse would probably be "learning accent is hard, probably too demanding. also has to go with the mannerism." yeah crap. some kid here learned it from mp3.

5 - come back and think youre superior than us?
damn. just because you have the brain, doesnt mean you have the balls. after all, a degree is just a piece of paper. the probable things that distinguish you is your writing (and speaking) skills, the rest is nothing. another point which i hate to include but i must, the God element. "God only cares about your Iman". so wtf bro?

6 - come back for holiday with the invisible mode ON?
ive seen them do it. came back without notice and a text message,"sorry cant meet you, will be leaving tomorrow". so for the whole summer where were you? with your 'superior' friends?

we dont intend to chase you like a celebrity (or will ever treat you like one), we just want to hear about your experience, life and maybe spare some time for teh tarik. after all, we are the "katak bawah tempurung". did you forget that we were at KLIA when you left for your first year?

7 - try to run from your sponsor.
stupid selfish arrogant bastard. is it money that clouded your vision? is it the small pay slip? third rate mentality? somebody was generous enough to give you a good education, a good allowance so you can buy your ipod/O2 PDA/Laptop, flight tickets and a job! this is how you repay your nation? it was never about the money, its about the TIME invested in you. we need you to enlighten us. oh hang on, lemme check, perhaps we dont need another stupid selfish arrogant bastard.

8 - come back and bitch about your country?
yeah german have that, uk have this, us have everything, aussie have white asses on the beach.. so what does malaysia have? gadis kampung bertudung beromen atas motor on youtube? jalan raya penuh mat rempit? stupid 3rd rate mindset? yeah2, same old story repeated many times over here. we dont need you to relay the message over and over again. we want change too, so help us!

in conclusion, overseas student = messenger boy, get a degree and come back.

so who am i to talk cock? im just an unemployed observer.

you feel like slapping me with a big trout? leave a comment.

Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's Too Late

did you catch transformer? well, i watched 4 times at the cinema and has been my bed time movie for the past 3 weeks.

one of the song is from goo goo dolls. linkin park is too obvious, you cant miss it.

anyway it was played in the dialog below,

bumblebee : anymore questions you wanna ask?
sam witwicky : i think he wants us to get in the car.
mikaela : and go where?
sam witwicky : 50 years from now, when youre looking back at your life, dont want to able to say you had the guts to get in the car.

mikaela and sam got into the car. a few secs later mikaela pisses bumblebee off. he later transformed into the latest camaro. (too bad they only make left handy)

not good enough for a pickup line. my suggestion would be..

mikaela : and go where?
eddie : you can either walk home or get a cab.

now, thats not very gentlemen. eddiemoron!

Happy Halloween Ben

Not exactly halloween, late by a night.

i had a friend named benjamin. i couldnt speak english very well, he was my tour guide, my best-est friend. we'd share lunch packs (i ate his sandwiches, which i didnt know it was actually ham), had playground fights, play some scrabbles and his dog, annie.

life was easy those days.

i think of ben every halloween (seriously im not gay). we were lazy to knock on neighbors' door for candies, so we robbed kids off the streets. literally robbed. we hid behind a large gloomy oak/pine tree and whenever a group of kids passed by, we came out running and screaming,"run! that tree eat kids!!".

the kids ran, crying for their mommy. as for ben and me, we got tonnes of candies, left behind by the poor kids. ben likes licorice, i like herseys' kisses and m&ms. so the trade was simple. we kept what we liked, the rest, we left it on the streets for stray dog or who ever.

ben, here's a toast for you! happy halloween you jackass.

Raye Part 3

continual of the previous post,

i came back to the living room with a handful of bahulus. while gobbling and stuffing everything in my mouth, tok wan stood up and repositioned himself next to me. whispering tone, he asked,

tokwan : hang makan sume ni, tak takut gemok ka?
me : tak. bulan pose dh ilang dekat 6kg. raye 1 + 2 dah naik balik 4 kg.
tokwan : tu dia.. ni tanya kat hang. unemployed tu gheja lagu mana?
me : unemployed tu keje duduk rumah, bukak computer pastu masuk internet. kalau2 bosan tu, tolong mak lipat baju la.
tokwan : punya la sempoi hang gheja. boss hang tak marah?
me : mana ade boss. kami la boss. (kami is referred as 'i' up north)
tokwan : tak sangka ada gak cucu tokwan yg berjaya no. tokwan bangga abeslah kt hang.

tokwan is now convinced that "unemployed" is a king like position in a company. i left the room. a few minutes later, i heard..

"celaka hang ewin! kalau la lutut aku tak ketaq, dah lama aku takik hang dgn mertun!!!" (takik = knock, mertun = hammer)

i guess my parents explained to him what "unemployed" is.

thats to payback for forcing me to drink 'kopi' when i was 5. selamat hari raya tokwan ;)

p/s: tokwan used to force me many things when i was a kid, like, paint his house, build reban ayam, chase his chickens, eat cows' testicle, climb rambutan tree etc. is the score even? i dont think so..